Returning Home Within
Since I have been in Texas for the last week and reflecting upon my journey this past year—moving from Colorado to Washington, back to Colorado, and now temporarily to Texas—I have come to appreciate this beautiful transition and the different realms each place has to offer. It had been over three years since I made the trip home to Texas, where I was born and spent most of my twenties (the hardest decade of my life). Now, being back as a different person has brought deep inner awareness that I have made a home in every place I have lived because home is within myself, along with my pups.
I once thought home was a specific place, but the reality is that while each place brings out core memories, experiences, and feelings, home is actually how I feel in the moment within that place—where I am consciously within myself, where I can find inner peace despite my outer circumstances. What has made it all the more peaceful is that my pups have been with me along the way, through every place I have called home for a period of time.
Granted, there have been many places. Home is truly where you feel most like yourself—where you come to know your own inner desires, where you can see beauty through the chaos of the external world, where family may reside, where you lost and found yourself again, and where you thought you would never leave, only to realize it was simply a snapshot in your story that was never meant to last forever. There were many times in my life when I lived in places where I thought I was going to die there, doing the same thing over and over. It was a cyclical loop playing repeatedly, never seeing a way out, and my external reality only reflected the negative side of life because I was in the throes of it all.
Over time, as I began making different choices, I saw changes happen slowly but surely. That is the most important thing I urge everyone to remember: YOU HAVE A CHOICE. No matter how repetitive your days may feel or how much you find yourself going through the same motions day after day, you have the ability to make a different choice. One small choice can change the course of your entire day and make it no longer predictable. The more you do that, the more magical your life becomes because you no longer know what comes next—except for the fact that you made a different choice, without expectation of what will unfold afterward. The intention becomes simply creating a different outcome each day. The same goes for a place you may be tired of living in. Every place has its own reality, and you contribute to creating that reality.
Looking back now at my twenties—a time when I hated my life and where I lived in Texas—I can now see how much I have grown and hold deep appreciation for how much this place taught me. Along with that, coming back here with Desi at 14 years old brings humbling feelings as I watch her revel in the Texas heat and spirit. She is truly a Texas dog, born and raised here. I know there is a deeper reason beyond the surface as to why I have returned to my home state—not only to complete a cycle of paternal lineage awareness, but also to gift her the opportunity to come home for herself in a way I cannot fully describe.
There is so much awareness happening simultaneously throughout this stay, but it has also strengthened my belief that everything is deeply interconnected. What is happening to you is also happening to your animal in its own unique way; you just may not see it immediately. However, the longer you sit with it, remain present, and observe your animal as they begin to relax their own nervous system, you begin to recognize the subtle yet profound reason they are there beside you in that moment in time.
There is always something unfolding for them at the same time something is unfolding for you.
Remember: life is happening FOR you, not TO you.
